In my old Sheffield school, there was a senior teacher called Joe Lyons. He hailed from Northern Ireland and was The Head of Lower School. In this role he often had to lead school assemblies and I was witness to very many of them.
When addressing issues of misbehaviour, Joe would often revert to one of his stock sayings: "It's nice to be nice". After hearing him use it a hundred times, I came to appreciate that it is indeed "nice to be nice". People can be very good at criticising or knocking down but forgetful about the simple process of being nice to others. There's a lot to be said for niceness.
On Saturday night, I was in our local pub with my friend and former colleague Jonathan who now lives and works in Taiwan. As we were about to leave the pub, a middle-aged woman approached me. I recognised her because she had worked behind the bar a few years back.
To paraphrase as best I can, this is what she said: "I was just saying to my friends that when I worked here you were the one person who was always very nice to me. You treated me with respect without fail. I never said that to you before and I thought if I don't say it now, I might never say it. Thank you."
This was all most unexpected. I gave her a bear hug and departed. It gave me a rosy feeling. I had been boosted by her niceness.
Today, I had to take my sleek silver car Clint to the Hyundai automobile hospital because there was a problem with his heater blowing mechanism. For the second time in the past month I was dealt with by a young service desk receptionist called Lizzy.
When the job was done, Lizzy led me outside to show me where Clint was parked and that's when I asked for her name. I told her that when the online customer satisfaction survey came through I would mention her.
"Why's that?" asked Lizzy.
"Because on the two occasions you have dealt with me you have been very pleasant, very polite and very efficient. I just want to sing your praises. It's not always like this when cars are taken to garages for work to be done."
Lizzy smiled. I know I brightened her day and that gave me a good feeling too. After all, it is nice to be nice isn't it?
Validation is good for the soul.
ReplyDeleteAnd there's also the bonus of how you yourself feel after you've brightened someone else's day.
Thank you Marty! This is one of the nicest comments I have ever received. You are such a nice person!
DeleteYou very much need to put "nice to be nice" into practise yourself mate because you were very sarcastic to me when I last left a comment here. Such were your words I deleted my comment.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it is easy to misjudge the tone or the intention of a written reply. I like to be mischievous but I always appreciate comments and I am sorry if, how ever unwittingly, I caused you annoyance Mr Heron.
DeleteIn my working life I know that I always responded more positively to people who were pleasant to me. I often went out of my way to help them. I did begrudge having to jump to attention whenever the rude, overbearing sort used to demand attention.
ReplyDeleteBeing nice to others will often lead to unexpected paybacks.
DeleteI generally like to be nice as well. And the older I get, the easier it is to give compliments without being suspected of just being weird. Which is...nice.
ReplyDeleteIf I may be so bold ma'am, your comment was as pleasant as you are. Very nice indeed.
DeleteI believe in kindness, which one could also call niceness. Except to those who abuse animals, children, or the elderly. Then I turn all mean :)
ReplyDeleteThank heavens I do not abuse any of those three. I would hate to be on the receiving end of your meanness Jenny.
DeleteNiceness is infectious. They say that if someone smiles at you, you should pass that smile on to someone else. Its the same with niceness. Maybe it'll catch on and go global !!
ReplyDeleteThose caught up in knife crime in London could do with a large dose of niceness.
DeleteI was lucky enough to be able to thank two of the ladies who taught me. The first was a first school teacher who introduced me to nature and the second was my Secondary School Needlework teacher.I met them both quite by chance, one in the Library and the other in a shop close by. I was so pleased to be able to thank them and I think they appreciated it. Both of these subjects have been close to me all of my life and I like to think that these two people were the instigators.
ReplyDeleteBriony
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That was sweet of you Briony. I am sure your positive interactions meant a lot to those two women
DeleteThanks for making me smile.
ReplyDeleteAs the Thai masseuse said, "You very welcome Missa Dunham!"
DeleteI'm great believer in letting people know that I appreciate their kind, efficient , "nice " service and often drop into shops to tell them how pleased I am with their product - shoes that are comfortable for instance. You're right we need to be nice to eachother and when people are nice to us , it needs to be acknowledged.
ReplyDeleteIt is good to have a balance I think. Yes, criticism is often very justified but there must be room for praise, acknowledgement, smiles and compliments.
DeleteYou could start a movement to be nice! From your experience as a teacher, I'm sure that you won many kids with just being nice.
ReplyDeleteI doubt that I was as nice as you Red! You sound like a very nice guy.
DeleteIt costs nothing to be nice...and yet, there are so many...too many...people who don't realise that. If they did....they'd realise just how great it feels.
ReplyDeleteGood on you, Yorkie
Those few heartfelt words from that lady at the bar were given sincerely...a wonderful gesture by her in appreciation.
There is a young lass named "Lizzy" who works in the butchery section of my local supermarket. She has a lovely, natural, open face...smiling eyes. No make-up, no botox or "trout lips". She is always so pleasant to me when I'm purchasing meat. We always have a fun chat. The other day I said as much to her about her natural beauty - her naturalness of nature. To see her young face brighten up even more was a joy to behold. I was sincere in my praise of her, as was that lady towards you.
Your Lizzy sounds as admirable as my Lizzy. I admit that I sometimes forget to dish out the deserved praise. I must try harder.
DeleteThat was a nice post and nice comments too ! I know what you mean about misjudging the written word.....you can't see the cheeky look or the wink or hear the tone of voice !!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your understanding about misinterpretation Frances. Heron's comment rather upset me.
DeleteWhat a nice post;) I do agree, someone being nice to you can make all the difference to a day. The hardest thing sometimes is to be nice even when someone else is not!
ReplyDeleteSome hippies of the late 60's had a saying about dealing with unpleasantness - "Zap them right back with super love". I have always remembered that.
DeleteJust come back from shopping.....there was a young lady on the till, (in a shop I have not been to before....."Range") and she had the biggest head of curly hair I have ever seen......and most of it was bright blue ! I said ( having your post in mind) that I liked her blue hair ...hope she was pleased.
ReplyDeleteGreat stories! The world needs more niceness, to be sure. Our previous head of school had a very similar expression. She used to say, "Be kind, be kind, be kind" -- supposedly quoting Henry James, but I think he actually just said it twice.
ReplyDelete