McCartney and Lennon, Rogers and Hammerstein, Rice and Lloyd-Weber, John and Taupin, Gilbert and Sullivan - just a small sample of successful writing duos. And now a new duo have announced themselves to the world of entertainment - Northsider and Pudding. Their first collaboration, "Betty and Gerald" was inspired by the couple sitting on the bench in this picture snapped last year on the island of Tenerife:-
Betty and Gerald
BETTY You know how to give a girl a good time!
(Pause)
(Pause)
BETTY That plant reminds me of the Triffids. Have you read it?
GERALD. Read it? I saw them play live. I even bought a T shirt!
Are that Irish couple still stalking us?
BETTY They're on the other side of the poinsettias.
GERALD Do you think they'd be up for a bit of wife swapping?
BETTY I hope so. He looks a right hunk!
(Pause)
BETTY What do you want for your tea?
GERALD You ring me and ask this question every day when I'm at work.
BETTY. They aren't Irish they're saying "summat" and "nowt" all the time. Are we going to Lidl and we will make some Sangria back at Hotel Bastardo?
GERALD Hi alright.
(Pause)
GERALD Are Summat and Nowt the names of their solicitors or their budgerigars?
BETTY Oh Gerry, you are so old-fashioned! Nobody keeps budgies any more.
GERALD If that's true, why is that Anglo-Irish bloke over there wearing budgie smugglers?
BETTY Are we trying some of that pie hella (paella) for tea Gerald?
GERALD I suppose so. Do they serve chips with it?
(Betty and Gerald rise from the park bench simultaneously and both fart in harmony. They giggle.)
GERALD We are like The Brighouse and Rastrick Brass Band!
BETTY Ha-ha-ha-ha!
BETTY More tea vicar? You've ate all the ruddy cake!
GERALD. Read it? I saw them play live. I even bought a T shirt!
Are that Irish couple still stalking us?
BETTY They're on the other side of the poinsettias.
GERALD Do you think they'd be up for a bit of wife swapping?
BETTY I hope so. He looks a right hunk!
(Pause)
BETTY What do you want for your tea?
GERALD You ring me and ask this question every day when I'm at work.
BETTY. They aren't Irish they're saying "summat" and "nowt" all the time. Are we going to Lidl and we will make some Sangria back at Hotel Bastardo?
GERALD Hi alright.
(Pause)
GERALD Are Summat and Nowt the names of their solicitors or their budgerigars?
BETTY Oh Gerry, you are so old-fashioned! Nobody keeps budgies any more.
GERALD If that's true, why is that Anglo-Irish bloke over there wearing budgie smugglers?
BETTY Are we trying some of that pie hella (paella) for tea Gerald?
GERALD I suppose so. Do they serve chips with it?
(Betty and Gerald rise from the park bench simultaneously and both fart in harmony. They giggle.)
GERALD We are like The Brighouse and Rastrick Brass Band!
BETTY Ha-ha-ha-ha!
BETTY More tea vicar? You've ate all the ruddy cake!
⦿
Any film producers or publishers visiting this blogpost on the lookout for new talent, please understand that Northsider and Pudding will do anything you want if there's a big, fat cheque (American: check) at the end!
Book cover design by William Nutt
Good luck! I'll be watching for this.
ReplyDeleteYou will be able to say that you knew us before we became famous.
DeleteI'd forgotten about the word ruddy. We used to hear it used here but not anymore. It was a substitute for the swear word bloody. Now the word bloody is not really considered a swear word, not many use that either any more.
ReplyDeleteI hope to hear more of the adventures of Betty and Gerald.
"Betty and Gerald Come To Melbourne"
DeleteI like the idea of a big fat cheque, but I'd want to listen very carefully to whatever it is they want (me or) you and Northsider to do. There are limits to what should be done I think.
ReplyDeleteWe will do ANYthing River.
DeleteNot forgetting that team of English lawyers and Prog Rockers: Emerson Lake and Palmer.
ReplyDeleteTheir fees were exorbitant. I thought Emerson Lake was in Canada.
Deletenorthsider and Pudding - a match made in heaven.
ReplyDeleteAngels from the realms of glory.
DeleteWill you invite your blogger friends to the film première? I want to meet whoever will be chosen to play Betty and Gerald, please!
ReplyDeleteYour mother has been selected to play Betty and Gerald will be played by Matthias Schweighöfer. Of course this is only in the German version.
DeleteThey'd make an interesting couple - there is an age gap of almost 40 years between them...
DeleteI look forward to the book and the film version!
ReplyDeleteIt's the support of that little people like your good self that we need!
DeleteAren't all writer insanely wealthy? I read recently that something like 100 authors worldwide make a fortune, most are lucky to make a sustainable living.
ReplyDeleteDavid and I are looking to break into that top 100.
DeleteI hope you get some backers for this project. I'm sure that'll be easy, though with this sample of such undeniable talent.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to taste, you are very discerning madam!
DeleteI am glad you also found some employment for William Nutt!
ReplyDeleteWell spotted Mr Reed! It's all about details!
DeleteI don't know what to say!
ReplyDeleteHow about - Wow! You and David are brilliant writers! ?
DeleteI'll buy the book of course - once it's advertised at 99p. on Amazon Kindle.
ReplyDelete