29 May 2013


The Ugly Family - too ugly to be seen.
In recent years, I have noticed the growing amount of "blurring" you see in television programmes. Usually this happens in documentaries, real life programmes or news items, The things that are blurred include the faces of people who do not wish to be identified such as criminals or victims, car registration plates, house names and numbers, brand name advertising and people's private parts.  In addition to the things already listed, you'll often find children blurred out.

I guess, it's important to blur children in case any paedophiles are watching television but if that's the case then lusty heterosexuals like moi shouldn't be allowed to look at women. Even lady newsreaders and weather girls' faces should be blurred. Wouldn't it be easier if they all wore stylish burkhas instead? This would save TV blurring departments a lot of time. 

Of course - in this modern world we inhabit there are masses of lusty heterosexual women rampaging through our city streets and battalions of gay men too so I guess the TV authorities should also either be blurring all men's faces or making them wear full lycra body suits like the influential giants of TV entertainment - Ant and Dec:-
Ant and Dec - a huge improvement
Regarding blurring, I have taken to spotting the failings of blurring departments. You know - sometimes they'll forget to blur a car number plate in a particular frame or you'll catch the image of a blurred child in a mirror. And don't you think it would be great if we could blur people in real life so when out and about you wouldn't have to look at spotty people or ogres who can easily put you off your food? To replicate this effect downing seven pints of Tetley's (or in Hippo's case - half a bottle of scotch) will usually do the trick.
Here's Hippo in a family planning commercial for  Angolan TV.


  1. I'm trying to do some work here and laughing fit to bust is not helping.

  2. ADRIAN Work? a very overrated concept sir.

  3. Couldn't a 'Blur-u-like' total TV screen cover be the answer? Most TV would probably be improved.

  4. CRO MAGNON Great idea! In fact didn't we have such TV's back in the nineteen fifties?

  5. As an egalitarian censor, I like to keep a boiling kettle by the side of my tv so that the steam blurs everyone and everything. It makes for rather dull watching and we seem to go through sets at an alarming rate, but that's a small price to pay for preserving the anonymity of the the innocent. And the guilty, especially politicians.

  6. It's not the Chinese hacking secrets, it's YOU!

    How the hell did you get that photo of me emerging from my site hut?

    Of course, those who know me will not be surprised you had to blur such a large area (modest cough) but might question whether you blurred the right area.

    This blurring lark is daft. If you have to blur the photo for legal reasons, don't post the photo. If you have to blur all but one person, crop the photo. Am I breaking the law, or endangering my children by posting their faces on my blog?

    I read now that Google Goggles will have a face recognition application which means the wearers will know all about the stranger they meet. I can't wait for the first Goggler to bump into me and say, 'Hah! You're Hippo! I know all about you!' so I can say 'Well you won't be too surprised about that, then!' after I smack 'em the mouth.

  7. I vote we all wear a stocking mask: it will level the playing field for the bald, the toothless, the plain. Huge hooters will take on more managable proportions, ditto wing-nuts that flap, turkey necks won't wobble.

    Women in burkas won't feel discriminated against. All will be good in the world... well that is until you get a ladder.


  8. Lettuce ~ I agree. It is a surreal experience to see kids turn up in fully body suit dress up for themed Athletics Carnival at my school and have different coloured stocking people running around the track and cheering ~ like you have landed on another planet.

    On another matter ~ it is so entertaining to read the friendly banter between all your regular family of bloggers Sir YP ~ it is a nice distraction to come home to each day.

  9. This is YP's blog so I hope he does not mind me diving in but, Lettice Leaf, how does a facial mask alter the proportion of a pair of huge hooters?

  10. I knew you were a hard nut Hip... but you now boasting two......... noses?


  11. HIPPO In the blurred picture of you, I wonder what the other fellow is laughing at?
    LETTICE LEAF What colour full body suit would you pick? Lettuce green I guess - like Ant and Dec. As a Hull City supporter my suit would have to be in a tiger print with a generous pouch south of the torso.
    CAROL CUNNINGHAM Happy to provide you with some escape from the everyday stresses of your workaday world. The idea of dozens of schoolkids in full body suits will probably give me nightmares tonight! That Cathy Freeman has a lot to answer for!


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