Visitors who have only come to this humble blog in recent months will not know that I am a part time sheep farmer. Well, perhaps that is a bit of an exaggeration as we only have two sheep. There's the mummy sheep called Beau and her faithful lamb Peep. They do such a good job of munching our grass that I rarely have to use a lawnmower during the growing season.
But it's not the growing season today. No way. It's the snowing season. For the third time this winter God hath chosen to wreak his wrath upon our sinful Sheffield suburb - dumping incalculable tons of the white stuff on our streets and homes. And here's how Beau and Peep looked at midday:-
BEAU Baaah! Can't you see I'm eating grass? Get your head down Peepo and get munching!
PEEP But there's all this snow Mum! I can't even see any grass!
BEAU Baaah! I've told you before. Shove the snow away with your snout. There's plenty of nice sweet grass underneath.
PEEP But I am fed up of grass Mum. Why can't we eat other stuff?
BEAU Like what?
PEEP You know - burgers and turkey twizzlers and cod in batter.
BEAU Baaah! There's a good reason why not you stupid lad!
BEAU Because we sheep are exclusively herbivorous mammals. Now get munching! We've got five more hours of grazing to do today.
BEAU What now?
PEEP I love you.