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| Maurice Chevalier |
chèvre = goat
Behind the old farmhouse, there is a hollow in which a sheltered meadow rolls up to the woods. At present, it accommodates a llama and several sheep that have recently given birth to lambs. And there's a goat or chèvre called Maurice Chevalier.
Yesterday afternoon, after I had returned from the Lidl store in Saint Jean du Falga, I looked out of the side door and there was Maurice Chevalier munching happily on the long grasses that cling to the embankment, He looked up at me as if to say, "What you looking at?" and continued to munch away.
He must have somehow got through the field fence. And he needed to be returned to that field.
I put my walking boots on and went out to grapple with Maurice Chevalier. He was unco-operative and faced me up with his head down and lethal horns pointed towards my midriff. As he charged, I grabbed his horns like a matador dealing with an enraged bull. Maurice Chevalier bleated in complaint but it was no good. He was under my control no matter how he writhed or how loudly he bleated.
I led him back down to the field and lifted the barbed wire in order to force him back where he belongs. Yorkshire Pudding 1 Maurice Chevalier 0. When dealing with goats you have to show who is the master. And that primeval battle was yesterday's highlight.
Today there's sunshine and I must get off to walk in it - hoping I don't have to wrestle with any more smelly chèvres.
I have kept goats in the past, sadly none now. What I found that is that they love white bread and so when wanting to move a truculent goat a piece of bread thrown near them and further pieces thrown to where I wanted them to be did the trick.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had known that before he charged at me!
DeleteYou're very brave Mr Pudding.
ReplyDeleteIndiana Jones has got nothing on me.
DeleteNot sure why male goats are kept because they are smelly ;) bit like a proper French cheese - which I like..
ReplyDeleteMale goats are kept so that they can impregnate female goats, the end result of which is more goats that will provide milk, cheese, and I-don't-know-what-all for the family to eat and/or sell to the surrounding community. No male goat, no more female goats, less food, less income. It's a matter of economics and survival.
DeleteThank you for the lesson in goat reproduction Monsieur Bob. I am sure you have enlightened Thelma - thankfully without going into graphic detail.
DeleteLesson understood ;)
DeleteNow you can add "goat rasslin'" to your CV. Or resume, as we call it here.
ReplyDeleteHowdy folks! I am a goat rasser! Ain't no goat that I ivver met could take me down.
DeleteYou're a good man to be able to deal with those tough customers. So good that it's not chevre 1 and Pudding 0.
ReplyDeleteYou must have fought a few goats in your time Monsieur Rouge!
DeleteOh I do envy you your time in La Belle France. I have to wait until September....
ReplyDeleteEnjoy a vin rouge pour moi.
Non, non madame. Je prefere les vins blanc parce que les vins rouge fait de goutte en mes gros orteils!
DeleteRed wine isn't the cause of gout or so they say. Have a glass of white then or even a large gin on my behalf. Salut!
DeleteEveryone who suffers from gout has different triggers. I know from experience that I must stay clear of red wine which is a shame.
DeleteI really, really like goat cheese, and I adore young goats - they are the funniest to watch, but I would not want to be responsible for them as a keeper! They are said to be very clever animals, and their curiosity knows no bounds.
ReplyDeleteIf you look at my top picture, that's hardly the expression f a genius is it?
Delete"Maurice Chevalier" the goat - clever name :) As Red said, far better for you that the goat lost that round. Let's hope he doesn't get out again!
ReplyDeleteIf he gets out again there'll be goat curry for dinner.
DeleteWill you ever be able to settle back into the quiet life in Yorkshire, El Cordobés?
ReplyDeleteI will try my little Queensland white-gaped honeyeater.
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ReplyDeleteHere is my French cheese and goat story. As a teenager I often spent summers in France with my penfriend Claude Legrand and his family. One evening at dinner, his dad, Maurice, offered me some cheese with the words “essaye ce fromage. Ça pu come une chiotte, mais c’est bon.” “Try this cheese. It smells like a shithouse, but it’s good.” It did indeed smell exactly like shit, with a slight overtone of disinfectant. It tasted pretty good though.
DeleteLater I described it as smelling like a goat that had fallen into a midden and died. That is the goat reference. I’m not sure whether or not it was goat cheese. It’s called marouoille, or Gris de Lille, and I was told that it is an offence to take it on pu pic transport in that city.
DeleteI plan to keep well away from that cheese sir! By the way, where did your penfriend live?
DeleteChevalier is nothing to do with goats. It is related to the word for horse, cheval, and means something like the English knight. #pedantic sod
ReplyDeleteI am not thick you old goat. Everybody with half a dozen brain cells to rub together knows that "cheval" means horse. That goat just looks like Maurice Chevalier in his prime.
DeleteAbsolument mon vieux pudding du Yorkshire.
Deletehe's a good looking fellow! (Maurice, I mean)
ReplyDeleteDo you want a date with him Kylie? He could be in Sydney in two days.
DeletePoor Maurice! He really wanted that grass!
ReplyDelete