Consequently, I had to wake Clint from his slumbers and drive out of the city - up to Ringinglow - just past the alpaca farm. I sat at one of the two wooden picnic benches by Quicksaw Plantation and read two more chapters of "Yorkshire - A Lyrical History". The going is not easy. Plenty of historical facts and theories to take on board
Then I followed a mysterious path into the woodland. I had never ventured along it before. After a hundred yards, the path gave way to tangled undergrowth and the pathways of badgers and rabbits. I came across an ancient badgers' sett though I saw no scat to indicate that badgers were sleeping underground but their well-trodden paths gave me hope. Perhaps they heard my boots on their ceiling.
Gradually, further progress through the dense woodland became nigh on impossible without a machete. And the ground dropped away steeply to my left - down into the valley of The River Porter. For once I did the sensible thing and turned back.
In a glade by a wild digitalis plant I came across a one-eared and one-eyed rabbit. How he came to be there I have no idea. See the top picture.
When I finally got back to the little car park on the edge of the woods, somebody called over to me from one of the picnic tables. It was my mate Mike and a friend of his called Danny - who I have conversed with on several occasions. They were having a couple of beers and catching up so I joined them for half an hour. All being well, the three of us will meet up in the same place at the same time next week. I wonder if there are YouTube instructional videos that might help me to improve my small talk.
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| Cattle seen across Porter Clough |
I have often wondered the same thing about "instruction" in small talk.Thank you for a good laugh!
ReplyDeleteWere you laughing about me risking my life in the undergrowth Terry?
DeleteThe older I get the harder it is to read if there's any noise. I used to read and have the radio on. Not any more.
ReplyDeleteI cannot immerse myself in a book if there's noise. For me it has always been that way Red.
DeleteLike you and Red, I like peace and quiet when I'm reading because I can't concentrate without it, and it's getting worse as I get older. When it's just me at home, there is no noise except for the clocks ticking. Even a neighbour's lawn mower can drive me to distraction. Imagine my delight to find that one of the neighbours has taken up drum practice during the lockdown.
ReplyDeleteDisregard this if you were only joking, but the standard advice for any kind of talk, small or large, is to ask a few thoughtful questions. Most people respond well to sincere interest. Meanwhile, it means you can do less talking :)
Thanks for the tip Jenny. Let me see...a few thoughtful questions. I will try these next week.
DeleteDo you think that The Pope is gay?
If there was a fight between a squirrel and a rat which one would win?
What is your favourite colour and why?
How many lakes are there in Canada?
I have a feeling that Jenny might have been suggesting that you take (I nearly said 'fake') an interest in your mate and his pal. Given that he's a mate you should know enough about him to get him to do the talking.
DeleteGraham is right, I should have said "a few thoughtful questions" ABOUT THEM. Although I suspect you knew that perfectly well.
DeleteBy the way, I recently read that there are about two million lakes in Canada, with over 31,000 of them being more than three square km, so you could have asked ME that :)
"About two million" is vague. The truth is that nobody knows exactly how many lakes there are in Canada! (See, I am making small talk!)
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ReplyDeletethat outing turned into a pleasurable walk and meeting with friends, all because your neighbours were noisy. Isn't that called serendipity?
I love that word though I rarely use it. The adjective "serendiptous" is also useful.
DeleteWhen I read these two sentences "Then I followed a mysterious path into the woodland. I had never ventured along it before." my heart beat faster! Mysterious paths into the woodland are so very much my kind of thing, but I rarely have occasion for them here (the lack of woodland may have something to do with it).
ReplyDeleteLike you, I want silence when I am reading. But I can still focus on my reading when the language spoken around me (German or Turkish) is different from the one I am reading (English). Otherwise, no chance.
Small talk? jenny_o is right - you can do less talking when the others can answer your question(s). Most people love talking about themselves, so just get them started on their favourite subject.
Okay. Thanks for that tip. I will ask them:-
DeleteWhat is your best physical feature?
How much money have you got saved and invested?
How many moles and other skin blemishes have you got?
I think that these will work well.
Your noisy neighbours did you a favour, introducing you you to a new path and an unexpected meeting with friends.
ReplyDeleteDid you three all sit 2 metres apart on that bench?
I stood up, towering over them like a woodland god.
DeleteI sincerely hope there is no kid crying their eyes out because, after a family picnic, they left their rabbit behind.
ReplyDeleteWhat a way to end your days (as a rabbit). Next to a digitalis (your poison in reach), ruffled, one eyed, one eared. Judging by its dignified posture it must have been well loved and therefore become "real" (ref. "The Velveteen Rabbit", one of my son's childhood books).
U
I admit that I cheated Ursula. I found the rabbit upturned on a badger path nearby and then propped him up against the digitalis. This is a remote place off the beaten path of picnickers.
DeleteSorry, forgot: Small talk. Making conversation by another name. What is it with the English and their fear of exchanging sweet nothings?
ReplyDeleteDon't forget, you are the nation that will ask people (after the initial "How do you do" on being introduced) "How are you". Naturally, their is no question mark since it's just by way of a greeting rather than genuine interest in the other's wellbeing. This is something any bleeding forinner needs to told at 101 level. The correct answer is (lie if need be): "Fine, thank you. How are you." (No question mark). Whatever you forinner do, innit, don't offload on the Englander that your cat has died and/or the fact that your doctor deems you at death's door. Your average Englander will beat a hasty retreat. Too much information. Having said that, the subject of weather is fine. Weather is the number one conversation filler short of looking at their finger nails.
U
Right, the weather - thanks. I will ask: How are tornadoes formed?, What is a cold front? and Have you got any good stories about forked lightning?
DeleteHow nice to have a walk into the woodland. We have beautiful forests here but it is too hot to walk (daily temperatures ard 33 degree C) and too many mosquitoes buzzing ard to give me dengue fever. Poor little rabbit with only one eye and ear. I had 2 rabbits called Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader so you can guess their colours
ReplyDeleteI have been to Kuala Lumpur and I know how hot Malaysia can be. Thank heavens for air conditioning!
DeleteActually, I'll confess, it was me that left the rabbit there to fool you because I felt so inadequate as a photographer after seeing your pictures of that hare.
ReplyDeletePractice makes perfect Mr Dunham.
DeleteI can read blogs and emails but can't waste my time reading books. Maybe in Winter. Super photos YP.
ReplyDeleteReading books = wasting time? No way, you ruddy philistine!
DeleteReally like the way you framed that last photo--the slightly offset intersection of the fields/stone walls, the land dotted with cows and the grove of trees outlined by the sky. Nice work.
ReplyDeleteThanks for that Mary! You are both kind and observant.
DeleteAw...little lost bunny. That sort of breaks my heart.
ReplyDeleteGlad you're getting out and having not only alone time but socialization, too. Best of all worlds.
Broken hearts require gorilla glue - as used by Steve Reed.
DeletePoor little rabbit, didn't look like he'd been making small talk, lol
ReplyDeleteBriony
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What do rabbits talk about? Probably grass, weather, predators and sex. What else have they got apart from burrow digging/
DeleteYP, rabbits have more sense than to talk about sex. They just get on with it.
DeleteDid you rescue the rabbit? I would not have been able to leave him there so close to the wild woods. Sometimes I rescue them from Charity shops along with teddy bears. A gentle wash and brush up and they're ready for new adventures.
ReplyDeleteIs that a trainer paddock for mother and baby cows to practise Social Distancing? Some are doing better than others.
No - I left the rabbit there for badger cubs to play with. Speaking about baby animals, the technical term for a baby cow is a "calf"!
DeleteThe stuffed rabbit is an interesting find! Wonder what the story is there? I like that second photo a lot, too. You should submit that one to Geograph.
ReplyDeleteI also can't read with noisy distractions. The kids in our library often study wearing headphones and listening to music -- I think, "HOW can they do that?!" Of course, who knows whether they're really learning anything.
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