You have probably heard of the Amazon sales giant. You can get just about anything from Amazon but it all began with books.
As I am eager to be ultra-rich just like Jeff Bezos, I have decided to launch my own sales giant which I have decided to name after another South American river - The Orinoco. This will be our logo and in the next year or two it is bound to become as familiar as the "a" of Amazon:-
Following Mr Bezos's example, we are starting off with books - specifically eight books by bloggers that are exclusive to "Orinoco". Each title may be purchased directly from Yorkshire Pudding for the unbelievably low price of $20 US + postage and packing...
A charming and amusing tale of life in a North Wales
village - a modern day "Under Milkwood".
"Roger, come here you little bugger!"
A tenderly written novel about love and life in a sultry Florida community.
"What ya doing honey?"
"Just planting beans."
"Splendid read!" - Tallahassee Democrat
The true story of how a king penguin from Washington Zoo travelled the world. From the author of the bestselling"The American Bar Association in Disneyworld".
A romantic romp through the hills of south west Ireland.
"She wanted him like nothing she had ever wanted before."
Edwards's linguistic skills are legendary and quite endearing.
"I didn't understand a frigging word" - Liverpool Echo
Deception and intrigue from The Isle of Man's top crime writer.
"Lord Peregrine grabbed the hold-all and sprinted to the helicopter"
It's surprising what you can see from the balcony of a high rise
apartment in a little known Australian city.
"The cover design is as remarkable as the book itself!" - The Age
who battled against the odds to become the assistant
manager of a supermarket in Huddersfield.
"I liked potted meat in my sandwiches in them days".
"Recommended if you have trouble sleeping" - The Huddersfield Daily Examiner
Surprised that you have so many readers who've written stories. I follow Graham and never once did I hear about a book.
ReplyDeleteGraham is a very modest man - just like you! See the next blogpost!
DeleteAre these very clever photos or are they actual page turning books? They do look interesting, but I'm very sure I can't afford the packing and postage.
ReplyDeleteI can do you a special deal Elsie. TWO books for $40!
DeleteI would read them all!!
ReplyDeleteSome of them are rather raunchy for a sophisticated lady like your good self!
DeleteAmazon is in my back yard, YP. Almost literally.
ReplyDeleteYou live in South America? I thought you lived in Washington state!
DeleteI love my book cover, and the others. One thing you have failed to mention is the percentage of profits Orinoco returns to the authors?
ReplyDeleteProbably about the same as A, better not order the new Bentley based on the hoped for windfall.
DeleteOrinoco likes to be fair and transparent with our partners. You receive a wholesome 2% of each and every book sale.
DeleteLove these:)
ReplyDeleteYours is coming dear! See the next blogpost.
DeleteI'm not overly keen on some of the cover designs but if Orinoco is the undoing of Amazon/ Bezos I won't complain
ReplyDeleteThe best designers in Europe spent weeks on these stunning book designs!!!!
DeleteA very timely offer from Orinoko, since my pile of to-be-read books is nearing an all-time low. Do I get a package deal if I order them all? Or how about a special bonus for being one of the first customers?
ReplyDeleteBusiness is business gnädige Frau! Orinoco is not a charity!
DeleteYou will have us all offering our blogs for books, brilliant post, brilliant work you clever ole thing.
ReplyDeleteClearly you can spot talent when you see it Puppy!
DeleteHa, ha...very clever. I love those book covers.
ReplyDeleteI was a little upset when a guy nicknamed Yorkie was poisoned in Chapter Two.
DeleteJayCee Manx is a brilliant pen name. I would read them all and yours.
ReplyDeleteJayCee Manx describes a steamy liaison between the female protagonist and an Anglo-Irish plant man in The Acacia Boutique Hotel in Douglas.
DeleteVery clever front covers. Give you a box of paints and goodness knows what you will come up with.
ReplyDeleteYour book will be displayed in the next blogpost.
DeleteOh, Mr. P.! You did make me smile this morning. You've been busy with the AI again, haven't you? Thank you. I love my book.
ReplyDeleteDid you like the example of the dialogue?
DeleteOf course! Pretty much sums up life in Lloyd! Planting beans and working on cars.
DeleteI remember the first time I heard about Amazon, a company dedicated to selling books out of Washington. As an avid book reader, I was instantly hooked on their business and thought it was the greatest thing ever. But like all good things, it sort of got out of control and now it is more like an evil giant that has taken over the world and there is not much any of us can do about it.
ReplyDeleteYou didn't say but do you offer 2-day shipping?
No! Two month shipping is available for an extra fee which will be disclosed at checkout. Oh by the way - see the next blogpost!
DeleteI could use a ghost writer on this project.
ReplyDeleteI have got news for you David - ghosts don't exist!
DeleteYP these are excellent! You might have given these authors a nudge, and who knows, they might all be tempted to put pen to paper...or fingers to keyboard. The illustrations, by - AI I presume - are very convincing.
ReplyDeleteOnly criticism is that the price is a bit too high for those of us who buy Amazon books, for their Kindle, at 99p!
The Orinoco books are not available to Kindle users I am afraid. Sorry.
DeleteYou've been playing with AI again. Haven't you, Neil?
ReplyDelete(Blushing) No I have not been playing with my AI auntie!
DeleteDo you have the book by Neil Pudding: Sheep, And Where To Find Them?
ReplyDeleteIt was so popular it is now out of print!
DeleteYou and AI have really upped your game with this thoughtful post. Wonderful!! I sure hope that you become a gazillionaire by promoting and selling books, Mr. Pudding.
ReplyDeleteThe money will not change me sister. I will still be the same though I will be travelling in a private jet and I will wear cool shades and eat in fancy restaurants.
DeleteMight be worth it just for the covers... Even if the contents can probably already be found online, chapter by chapter. Any chance of getting them as audio books? ;-)
ReplyDeleteWe do not have a facility for creating audio books so you will just have to pay the full price for a physical book Monica!
DeleteVery late to the party x
ReplyDelete