Wow! Considering that yesterday was the first full day of trading for "Orinoco", we blew our sales forecasts to smithereens! I am already looking for a site for our first mega-warehouse. It will be massive with a big "Orinoco" "O" on the side. There will also be a fleet of electric delivery vans running up and down city streets like woodlice seen from above.
On the back of yesterday's phenomenal sales, we have brought forward the second tranche of books by bloggers. It had been scheduled for March 1st. There are ten new publications in total. The price remains $20 US per book plus postage and packaging. See the new titles below:-
One man and his dog Billy, roaming the mean streets of
Brighton and the leafy lanes of south west France.
"Come here Billy!" I yelled but he was gone.
As in an Australian junk shop, you can find all things here. Antipodean
writer Kylie Tai takes us on an entertaining romp through Sydney, her home city.
"Wendy Whiteley's Secret Garden is a place you can really get lost in!"
With his wife Jean, he built a house on the edge of the
Canadian prairie and they called it home.
"Come in Red!" she called. "It's time for dinner!"
"Okay. I'll be right there my sweet!"
Woke writer Bob Slatten paints a picture of modern day America
which may be unrecognisable to some readers.
"He told them to vote blue but thousands entered
the trap - just like those kids in Hamelin, Germany."
"Local writer and socialite, Meike Riley, has set her tale of
romance and fashion in and around our fair city and
she never disappoints. I just couldn't put it down!"
-The Ludwigsburger Kreiszeitung (translation)
Children's author Ms Pixie takes boys and girls on another magical journey
to Fairyland, passing The Deep Dark Forest where the monsters dwell.
"My nana wrote it! Poppa read it to me a zillion times!" - Jack (aged 4)
Some boats on the ocean are heading somewhere but others are just drifting along.
"She fried up some mashed potato and boiled cabbage from
yesterday and then Andrew was like putty in her hands."
Amateur archaeologist Thelma Wilcox creates a vivid sense of
what life was like in The British Isles during The Bronze Age.
"I can thoroughly recommend 'North Stoke' " - Professor Alice Roberts
From the brains behind The Friday Funnies comes this tour de force
from the North Dakotan writer and popular former radio host, Bruce Taylor.
Half comedy and half encyclopedia of strange things, you won't
be able to put 'Oddball Obsunvations' down!
"I'm so proud of Bruce!" - Katie Hobbs (Governor of Arizona)
Deals were done by the bend in the river. Shady deals between men who were
out for as much as they could get until Sheriff Chuck Grassley rode into town!
"Ed Travis's best book yet!" - Des Moines Register
Bob looks absolutely deranged on the cover of his book!! Haha! I love these. Too funny.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the thought of a second Trump presidency has sent Bob over the edge.
DeleteI have sent in my order for all of these together with the payment to cover the appropriate amount. My local post office said they couldn't do US dollars so I am sending Manx shillings instead. Looking forward to reading them.
ReplyDeleteThey'll be with you by the weekend. By the way, "The Isle of Man" has already sold 1,472 copies!
DeleteMy book cover looks like a scene froom one of my favourite Sydney suburbs, Newtown. You did good, Mr Pudding
ReplyDeleteYou did good too. A very engaging read!
DeleteI feel obliged to buy the books written by my fellow Australians. I'll have them as e-books please. That will cut the cost of the books to about ten percent and there will not be any postage charge.
ReplyDeleteSorry mate, NO frigging e-books and no dodging the rules!
DeleteKatie knows quality when she sees it. Keep those royalties coming, YP!
ReplyDeleteWe have already sold eleven books for you Bruce. You make 2% on every book after production and office expenses have been taken into account.
DeleteWell, come on everybody. Buy Hiawatha House. I want to have the largest sale of books =on the big O
ReplyDeleteThere's more to life than money Red... but I don't know what it is.
DeleteThe big O? I like the double entendre involved in calling Orinoco the big O.
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of a book but it looks very innocent. My writing for children would be more along the lines of Grimm's Fairy Tales, dark and disturbing.
In your next book you could lead the children into The Deep Dark Forest where the monsters dwell.
DeleteIt's the accomplishment! It's the competition!
ReplyDeleteOh! I see.
DeleteI love the covers you've come up with.
ReplyDeleteThe "Drifting Through Life" book cover I picked was the least raunchy.
DeleteFunny stuff!! Great idea and well executed :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Jenny. I should have done a book cover for you.
DeleteYou should read the raving reviews my book gets from the Blackforest tourist authority, the Offenburger Tagblatt and the Hohberg Notizen!
ReplyDeleteTo let you in on a secret: I have been offered a substantial sum for the film rights, but am hesitant about losing control over everything from casting to dialogue.
A film deal! That's fantastic! Perhaps you could play yourself and OK could play Prince OK.
DeleteYP, you really are missing out on a great tranche of dinero by not doing e and audio books. There's a tremendous market out there. It would make the difference between having somewhere handy to park your private jet, rather than having to use a public airport....
ReplyDeleteWill you be employing a chauffeur to drive Clint now that you have reached celebrity status?
Clint is eight years old. The only place he is going to is Flanagan's scrapyard. As for the e-book idea, we have considered it here at Orinoco but it wouldn't make enough profit for us.
DeleteSo many best sellers here, how long should we wait for the second title to be released.
ReplyDeleteWe will have to wait for the writers to produce - like hens.
DeleteAny chance of you sending my book advance Mr Pudding? Cash or crates of Newcastle Brown Ale or bags of compost would suffice.
ReplyDeleteYou receive a generous 2% on every book sale but then you also have to factor in production and administration costs so you owe Orinoco £3,227.11p.
DeleteAlmost perfect. Definitely a best seller!!!
ReplyDeleteThe steamy sex scenes will attract a lot of readers.
DeleteSo proud to see my book published, problem is, I can't remember a word I wrote!
ReplyDeleteHave you received a blow to the head? It was a damned good read and well-researched too!
DeleteGreat design ideas, sure to be best sellers.
ReplyDeleteYou have excellent aesthetic taste David!
DeleteYou really have nailed it with the cleverness in this book idea. I am enchanted!
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed this lark Mary!
DeleteBriiliant!
ReplyDeleteMy head is already big enough Sue!
DeleteYou're a hoot, Neil! Ha Ha Ha! :)
ReplyDeleteI am glad that I tickled you Ellen!
DeleteI was a bit slow on the uptake. I thought the books were actual books yesterday. Today, I'm figuring A.I. had a large part in the creation of their covers.
ReplyDeleteYou should have been a detective Ed!
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