My mother had a tough childhood. Her parents had a stormy relationship and finally -when she was ten years old, her father - my grandfather - walked out of the family home. He had fought at The Battle of the Somme in World War One. Undoubtedly, he had brought some of that horror back home with him.
With her little brother, Mum had to walk to her grandparents' house three ,miles away. It was on the very day that her parents split up. For the remaining years of their childhoods she and Uncle Derek were raised by her grandparents - my great-grandparents. They provided warmth, security and love but the pain of that family break-up remained with Mum all her life and of course some of it seeped subtly and secretly into me.
I could also reflect upon my father's life and how unconsciously he also helped to form my character. I carry a part of him in me. But that's another story.
The four paragraphs above are merely a preamble. What I really want to get into is thinking about the thousands of children who were abused by Roman Catholic priests and nuns from Australia to America and from Ireland to France. Not just a handful of children but thousands. And it is likely that similar abuse is still happening today in remote corners of the Catholic empire.
What do those children carry with them into adulthood? Such shame. Such nightmares. Played back over and over again.
The awful experiences these people had remain with them - skeletons in their cupboards. They can never truly escape or leave the past behind. It will have shaped their relationships, their attitudes, their careers, their everyday behaviour. Maybe they drink too much. Maybe they get depressed or angry too easily. Maybe they hide behind emotional brick walls. And if they have children of their own some of this pain will certainly be transferred, the poison seeping silently into the next generation.
I began by reflecting on how the past is present in me but I was never abused - sexually or physically and I was never an object of bullying either. The legacy that I carry is natural - an easy one to bear compared with the crippling weights that are carried along life's path by the victims of abuse within the Catholic church. They were innocent and yet they were given life sentences.
There is a bible verse which says something to the effect that the "sins of the fathers" will reverberate through four generations. The thought of four generations of pain is distressing but close to the truth, I would think.
ReplyDeleteNow that these abuses are more commonly talked about there will be much more chance of justice and healing
But what about Africa? Asia? South America? It seems that it is pretty much only in the affluent western world that Catholic abuse has been brought out into the light.
DeleteThe West is generally better at human rights than other parts of the world but as we start to demand better, other places will follow. I know it's slow and inadequate but that is the nature of this type of change
DeleteWe all try to get things into order as we grow older YP
ReplyDeleteI guess that has always been the case.
DeleteDeep thoughts for a Tuesday morning.
ReplyDeleteThe true tragedy (in my opinion) is the cover up of the crimes, the moving of priests to other parishes with no consequences which allowed them to continue their abuse, the disbelieving of victims. Sometimes I wish there WAS a hell, these people deserve everlasting punishment more than most.
They are supposed to be paragons of virtue - preaching peace and love and belief in this holy God fellow. That makes their abuse and reluctance to deal with it all the more shocking.
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ReplyDeleteDon't get me started on the subject of paedophiles...from wherever and whatever path in life they tread. They're the lowest of low-life...lower than scum.
DeleteThere will never be justice...the correct justice served on these depraved monsters.
Only today I made this comment about the information on the site given below...What I wrote might give you a slight indication of my thoughts about paedophiles...and the weak justice system....not only here in this country!
Quote: "Our wonderful, lenient "justice" system once again shows its true colours!!! What a joke! Justice David Jackson should lower his head in shame; jump into his latest model BMW; return to his expensive, expansive abode and never show his face outside again!! I hope Jackson has sleepless nights forever more....but he won't! He and his cohorts' heads are to far up their nether regions!!!! Disgusting!!!! " End Quote
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-08-28/rapist-robert-fardon-to-be-released-into-community-qld/10170714
I have no sympathy for paedophiles but I wonder what makes a paedophile. I suppose that many were abused in their own childhoods. That experience should make them better able to understand the awful effects that abuse has on children. Are they seeking some sort of warped revenge? I just don't get it.
DeleteI've never understood pedophilia either and I was the victim of it. I will just say that if this pope did know about it and also the coverup (and how could he not) he is complicit. I have spent my whole life trying to heal and deal with what happened to me and this will be the way of it until I die.
DeleteI feel for you Ms. Moon. A long time ago someone said to me when we give them (perpetrator)our thoughts of what they have 'done' to us they take and possess our power to live a happy life. Over the last few years with it in the news constantly it is hard to ignore.
DeleteMs Moon you have my respect. In spite of what happened you found love and created a family with grandchildren and all. In this way you fought back. Your last remark - "this will be the way of it until I die" is a phrase that must apply to thousands of victims of abuse.
DeleteI never wonder what makes a paedophile...I wonder why they escape capital punishment...or castration! No excuse. Pests are eradicated....they are pests and should be, when discovered, eradicated.
DeleteThat's as simple as I will express my feelings on the matter at this point in time.
Of course you are entitled to your opinion on this Lee. My view is that we are best equipped to combat any kind of terror when we seek to understand how it works.
DeleteWell, Yorkie....what's to understand? Those low curs, low-life mongrels - don't deserve my understanding. Yours maybe, but not mine.
DeleteAnd, without having to spell it out to you, or turning this into a lengthy, factual tale, I have good reasons for my thoughts on this matter.
I already guessed that Lee. Please accept my arm of friendship. If I could take some of your pain away I would.
DeleteI think all trauma suffered as a child affects our adulthood. It is those things which define how we cope when under pressure and too how we relate to people in general.
ReplyDeleteMy mother sent me to a Catholic boarding school when I was 13 directly after my father died suddenly at age 41. The nuns were indifferent in the main but there were a couple that were sadistic and cruel. One in particular beat me so badly on one occasion I ran away - 100's of miles from home I made my way to the railway station and showed the station master my back which was bleeding. He put me on a train home gave me money for a drink and sandwich and to phone my mother.
Sadly Mum sent me back once I'd recovered, although not beaten again my life was a misery at that convent. I left school as soon as I could (15yrs). What did it teach me? Distrust for authority and the importance of family to be there for one another always - so loyalty became extremely important.
I am appalled at the manner in which the Catholic Church has protected its child abusers, covered up their shameful deeds all the while those priests preaching to their parishioners how to live christian lives .. shame on them!
The focus is often on sexual abuse Elle but you demonstrate that the legacy of physical abuse and cruelty can be just as awful. Thank you for sharing this terrible truth.
DeleteMy hope is that all the lawsuits that will come will, finally, financially bankrupt this evil institution once and for all. Anyone who defends the church not the grounds that "not every priest is bad" and all the alleged "good works" the church does for the poor is an idiot, and a collaborator. It just shows how well the church brain washes it's followers, just like any good cult.
ReplyDeleteIf there were just a handful of "bad apples" right thinking people could let that news slide by. But it is not a handful - it's thousands of perpetrators through history - ancient and modern. There is something very rotten in the heart of Roman Catholicism.
DeleteThe Catholic Church is not all bad, but my life the minority certainly make up for the rest of them
ReplyDeleteThey need dragging out into the light and face up to justice, all of them I don't care how old they are now. They now what they have done.
The general practise of moving these vile people about from one Parish to another says a lot about the rulers of these churches.
There are many excellent priests and nuns who live blameless lives and give so much to their communities but in their midst there are tyrants and rapists, paedophiles and perverts. How could the good ones stay so quiet?
DeleteWhy single out the Catholic Church? Evil as they can be they are far from being unique.
ReplyDeletePaedophilia is illegal but prevalent in all strata of society. From Prince Andrew to the BBC. When I was young and the eldest of five, it was one of my tasks, after feeding goats, sheep and hens to watch out for my sisters and younger brothers. The C of E curate was a dirty sod…forever waving his willy about. I went to see the Vicar and the next thing I heard was that he had gassed himself.
We had a music teacher who persuaded little girls to sit on his knee at the piano... Dirty sod. My dad went to see him and he buggered off to Clacton.
We have muzzies saying it’s our culture. Save the Children, Oxfam and probably most other corporate charities attracting nonces. Teachers, social workers and the medical profession turn a blind eye to protect their salaries and pensions.
It’s everywhere.
You paint a horrible picture Adrian but I fear that it is probably accurate.
DeleteI think of all the comments above (which I agree with and can think of nothing to add to them) kylie's is the one that resonates most with me. Change is a slow process but it will grind on until it reaches all parts of the globe, in my opinion. It's very sad and horribly widespread but that is true also of war and famine and cruelty in so many facets of life, caused by people who have no thought for anyone but themselves. Maybe global warming will end the world before our mistakes have been corrected.
ReplyDeleteI feel more pessimistic than usual today.
Normally you come across to me as a glass half full kind of human being Jenny.
DeleteWe don't know how fortunate we are to not have been abused in anyway. It's also hard to support those who've been abused in the Catholic Church. As you say it's a life sentence.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard - maybe impossible for those of us who have not been abused to fully understand the effects.
DeleteYou've been down this road before and it draws predictable responses. Paedophiles are cunning bastards, they are past masters of manipulation, of both adults and children and they are in every ountry in the world.
ReplyDeleteSure, shut down the Catholic Church and disperse the idiots and collaborators and whereto then?
See Adrian Ward's comment, just the tip of the iceberg. I've had deep suspicions about people in own family and looking back, maybe just escaped full blown abuse.
I've known young women abused by grandfathers. I've sat at a restaurant table in Peru with an airline steward who played a disinterested role whilst encouraging poor little girls to hang about while he played his role. We brought up the subject with his British friend who didn't see any problem with this man who paid for young girls to come to his too. As far as he was concerned the airline steward might just as well have been ordering room service.
My thoughts are to be aware of anything suspicious within the bounds of our own lives and take action to thwart it.
Alphie
Perhaps our modern world makes it easier for abuse to happen or am I being naive? It is likely that abuse and paedophilia have always been present - throughout history - but never spotlighted as it is today - when uncovered. You make a good point about the Catholic Church. If the abusing priests and nuns were all rooted out their vile behaviour would surface in another quarter of society.
DeleteIts when youre own family turn on you for daring to voice what they cant possibly believe of a beloved member . It hurts forever hun
ReplyDeleteI am guessing that this is just the tip of a private iceberg Kate. Often it is easier to be selectively blind or deaf rather than confronting the truth.
DeleteThe pope said he was ashamed of what has gone on within the Catholic church. Will he therefore pull out the records of all the perpetrators and hand them over to the authorities? I don't think so, I thinks it's just empty words
ReplyDeleteCarol
I fear that you are right Carol but why don't the authorities get search warrants to investigate these records? Why don't they subpoena the gatekeepers?
DeleteAnd it's not just Catholics, although I grant that the structure and culture of the church led to many things being tolerated that should never have been. I too often think I'm incredibly lucky to have escaped childhood relatively unscathed!
ReplyDeleteWill we ever know what goes on behind closed doors in mosques and synagogues?
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