My beloved wife woke me early this morning, yelling up the stairs - "It's gone! It's gone!"
Emerging from another dream about fairies dancing in a woodland clearing, I yelled back, "What? What's gone?"
"It's the Maserati!"
I raced downstairs and sure enough Fabio - the banana-coloured Maserati I bought straight after my big lottery win was not where I had parked him yesterday afternoon. There was just an empty space.
We phoned Woodseats police and a couple of hours ago a panda car arrived containing P.C. Gray and P.C.Barlow - who is a woman constable still in training I believe. There were many questions to answer and papers to sign but in the end P.C. Gray confessed in his lilting Welsh accent, "You haven't much chance of getting it back. It'll probably be on a shipping container already. Heading for China or some such place." Great!
After the cops had gone, Shirley and I had a heated debate about the lottery money. To tell you the truth, it has disturbed our equilibrium. It is often said that money cannot buy you happiness and that money is the root of all evil. Well, I am beginning to concur with these sentiments. I am sick of it. We were happier before all this dosh was transferred to our bank account.
There's so much of it that the total figure is growing day by day. I could easily buy another Maserati to replace Fabio but how could I sleep at night? Instead of fairies in a woodland clearing I would be imagining hideously ugly car thieves in balaclavas, circling like vultures.
For the time-being we will stick with Clint plus Shirley's little grey car - Bonnie. By the way, Bonnie received a nasty scratch in the health centre car park on Tuesday afternoon and the careless perpetrator didn't even report it - just drove off. Damnable!
As for the lottery money, we will just have to think some more about it.
This blogpost was written in memory of Fabio. He did not stay long but he was my friend.
Your dedication to Fabio made me laugh out loud. "He did not stay long but he was my friend." is perfect iambic pentameter, but I guess you already knew that.ReplyDelete
Nothing about this blog is accidental Vivian.Delete
Perfect iambic pentameter! Crikey, I'm out of my depth here.ReplyDelete
"Crikey" is an excellent word. First recorded in 1838 it is a euphemism for "Christ!" which I am sure you already knew Sue!Delete
Put a dent in the next one so it won't be so attractive.ReplyDelete
See my last blogpost. If the Maserati was brown in colour car thieves might ignore it but I like bright yellow.Delete
Nowhere in literature is it written that money is the root of all evil. Money can be quite useful. What literature does tell us is that the love of money is the root of all evil. You do see the difference.ReplyDelete
I was alluding to the song that was made a hit by The Andrews Sisters in 1945.Delete
Hey, you told me I could borrow it for a little while!!ReplyDelete
Go whistle honeypie!Delete
My then-brand-new car was dented three times within the first six months I had it, in various parking lots. Not just little spots, either. One the size of a cereal bowl, one that pushed the front end a little to one side with accompanying scratches, and one lesser injury. We started calling it the invisible car, because clearly no one could see it. And no one so much as left a note. All that to say I share your and Shirley's dismay at the scoundrels who walked away after doing damage, just because they could.ReplyDelete
Those who do not admit to car scrapes in car parks are the lowest of the low.Delete
Well, I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. I hope it was insured for theft!ReplyDelete
I never got round to insuring him.Delete
I'm so relieved the banana has gone. I'm sure Clint feels similarly. I thought I heard a loud sigh of relief during last night. It must have been Clint.ReplyDelete
Clint knows my lips are sealed and I will not divulge where he has hidden the banana.
Perhaps Clint arranged the car theft via his bluetooth facility.Delete
Don't check the balance of your winnings too closely. I promised Clint I would say nothing about the possible carnapping so I'm sure the thieves got it before any other plans could take place. Now I hope you reassure Clint he is the only car for you!ReplyDelete
You are a naughty little Hyundai Bonnie!Delete
With all that money, you could easily employ an army of security people to watch over all your cars at night.ReplyDelete
I hadn't thought of that. I am not used to the ways of big money.Delete
Lovely end to a fairy tale ;)ReplyDelete
...and they all lived happily ever after.Delete
I thought he was called Donald? who ever carnapped him did you a favourReplyDelete
I would never call a car Donald Kylie. The name Fabio was suggested by my old blogging chum Bob in Canton, Georgia.Delete