18 May 2020

Dolls

The powers that be are trying to start up football again.  Over the weekend, German Bundesliga  matches were played in empty stadiums. Here in England there is talk that we might follow suit in the next three or four weeks.

In South Korea, these "ghost games" have been happening for a couple of weeks. One club - Seoul F.C. had the bright idea of trying to manufacture a fake crowd so that their stadium would not appear totally bereft of supporters.

And now Seoul F.C. have been criticised for using sex dolls (see picture above).  In their defence, the club has protested that they are not sex dolls at all - they are "premium mannequins". Yeah -right!

If I had a "premium mannequin" I would call her Julie and keep her in my wardrobe behind the old suits that I never wear any more. If pubs ever re-open I would take Julie down to our local and order her a bacardi and coke before later heading home to watch "Match of the Day" together.

Just like Princess Diana, my wife might remark, "There's three of us in this marriage" before bursting Julie with a knitting needle. 

I would bury her in the garden next to the young bullfinch I buried a couple of weeks ago. By the way, thanks to Mr Walter Baxter in Galashiels, Scotland for correctly identifying that bird. If you remember I had thought that it was a female chaffinch but Walter knows more about birds than I do - as the  hotly pursued women of Galashiels will surely attest.

31 comments:

  1. Where do they sell them? Can I get one wearing a Xena Warrior Princess outfit? Thanks for making me laugh YP.

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    1. She could sleep between you and Mrs Northsider. One thing's for sure Xena would never nag you with: "Get those mucky shoes off Dave!" or "Yer flyhole's unzipped again!" or "You left the top off the toothpaste!"

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    2. Xena would never use the Hoover and would let me watch Rock videos instead of the Repair Shop.

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    3. And she'd listen to all your tales about splitting plants in Portugal.

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  2. Your post has reminded me of that episode of Only Fools and Horses, with the exploding sex-dolls.

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    1. Now that is a programme that I never watched JayCee so I will take your word for it.

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  3. Can you get ones that don't understand you?

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    1. Yes. Japanese ones in mini-kilts. Not that I have researched the subject very much. Honestly.

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  4. "Seoul F.C. have been criticised for using sex dolls (see picture above). In their defence" - the regular team must have been badly depleted by coronavirus.

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    1. I think Peter Crouch was a sex doll. His real name was Fernando - as in that ABBA song that you love.

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  5. Back in 2011, I watched a film about a (non-sexual) relationship of a man with such a doll. I still think it is a film worth watching. If you are interested, you can find my review here.
    Funny how all of a sudden the stadium crowd seems to be exclusively female! I bet the police won't have problems with rowdy fans after the game.

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    1. Is there such a thing as a male sex doll Meike? I feel sure you will know the answer.

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    2. I am embarrassed that I know this, but...yes.

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    3. I didn't know for sure but was pretty sure about the answer being yes, too.

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  6. Okay. The depths of weirdness are now being plumbed.
    That is disturbing.

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    1. Notice how the dolls were socially distancing and wearing masks!

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  7. And when either side scored ... the crowd sat in stunned silence! LOL

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    1. If gusts of wind hit the stadium, the crowd would be blown away.

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  8. What's this fetish you have for people named Julie?!

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  9. The dolls are creepy.

    There was a very good movie a few years back called, "Lars and The Real Girl" which I would recommend. It's about a young man and his sex doll. Not dirty at all and quite touching.

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    1. That is probably the same film that Librarian (above) mentioned.

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  10. Do they come complete with puncture repair kits?

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    1. How would I know Sue? I have never had a relationship with a sex doll - honest! Has Paul got one in the garage?

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  11. Thanks for all the smiles, YP and commenters!!

    I worry about the players infecting each other. I know the numbers are miniscule compared to the potential for infection in huge crowds in the stands, but it still doesn't seem like a good situation to me. But I may be prejudiced because sports aren't vital to me like they are to many other people. Now, if you told me I couldn't read for the forseeable future because in some way it would endanger other people, I'd get my back up right fast :)

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    1. When we have moved on from the lockdown, you should consider taking up a couple of sports Jenny. May I suggest boxing and netball. As well as improving your fitness you will be learning about self-reliance and teamwork. For the boxing contact East Coast Boxing Club in Halifax N.S..

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    2. Teamwork in boxing? lol Shouldn't I be trying out for a team sport? :)

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    3. Self-reliance in boxing and teamwork in netball Jenny! You will need some boxing gloves and a very short skirt. The former for the boxing and the latter for the netball.

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  12. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.

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