Here's a story for a new born baby...
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Once upon a time and far from here there was a land of milk.
The rain that fell upon The Milky Mountains was not of water, but of nice warm milk.. The milk flowed into milky streams that gurgled white and frothy down to milk-white rivers beside which milking cows grazed in lovely meadows, their udders filled to bursting with creamy milk.
In the village of Milkchester, the dairy farmers Mr and Mrs Milko delivered fresh milk to the village school every day. There the children blew bubbles into their little bottles of milk before singing to their benign god - "The Milky Bar Kid":
How lovely it was to live in such a happy, milky land. It wasn't a land of milk and honey - just a land of milk and you could drink milk till the cows came home.
At night, people bathed in milk before drinking warm milk and clambering under milk white quilts. And the babies of this faraway land drank so much milk that it was as if they were inebriated, emitting milky burps before sleeping in their cots. which were, you guessed it, painted orange.
Oh, I almost forgot.... and they all lived happily ever after.