4 February 2021

Milk

 

Here's a story for a new born baby...

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Once upon a time and far from here there was  a land of milk.

The rain that fell upon The Milky Mountains was not of water, but of nice warm milk.. The milk flowed into milky streams that gurgled white and frothy down to milk-white rivers beside which milking cows grazed in lovely meadows, their udders filled to bursting with creamy milk.

In the village of  Milkchester, the dairy farmers Mr and Mrs Milko delivered fresh milk to the village school every day. There the children blew bubbles into their little bottles of milk before singing to their benign  god - "The Milky Bar Kid":

The Milky Bar Kid is strong and tough,
Only the best is good enough,
Creamy milk a whiter bar,
The good taste that's in Milky Bar,
"THE MILKY BARS ARE ON ME !",
Milky Bar so creamy white,
Nestles'  Milky Bar!

How lovely it was to live in such a happy, milky land. It wasn't a land of milk and honey - just a land of milk and you could drink milk till the cows came home. 

At night, people bathed in milk before drinking warm milk and clambering under milk white quilts. And the babies of this faraway land drank so much milk that it was as if they were inebriated, emitting milky burps before sleeping in their cots. which were, you guessed it, painted orange.

Oh, I almost forgot.... and they all lived happily ever after.

THE END

26 comments:

  1. You are all besotted. It is lovely to witness, even from afar.

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    1. Besotted with milk Debby. BURRRRP! The Little Princess was with us for several hours yesterday. She will be three weeks old tomorrow morning.

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  2. I was a fan of the Milky Bar Kid. He looked so much like my young cousin it was uncanny, even down to the glasses they wore. They could have been twins.
    Princess Phoebe is three weeks old already? She'll be wanting her own car soon.

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    1. The advertising certainly worked for me. I still like "Milkybars" and used to wear my cowboy suit when I visited pubs - in the days before COVID.

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  3. Ah yes, how lovely is a milk drunk baby?
    There's an opiate style factor in milk which causes it.

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    1. The little one certainly looks drunk after a good feed - all floppy and "out of it" like a politician after a boozy free lunch.

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  4. Ole Gunnar Solskjaer the toast of Milkchester.

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    1. OGS certainly looks like The Milky Bar Kid. With that twinkle in his eye, he also looks as though he still partakes of mother's milk! Probably gets it flown in from Norway.

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  5. A delightful grandfather's story if ever there was one.

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    1. She was round again this afternoon. Three weeks old tomorrow. Should I get her a card?

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  6. Your china model of the Milky Bar Kid is a highly sought collectible.
    Among my souvenirs is the Martell Cognac Monocled Man (see online).
    My Monocled Man is a china water jug, though I keep him in a display cabinet.

    Perhaps you can show younger readers what the Five Boys Chocolate Bar looked like, a Frys confection long gone. Five Boys delighted our industrial, postwar, tramcar generation. We were beneficiaries of Clement Atlee, one of our great Prime Ministers. Francis Beckett wrote a searching biography of Atlee.

    My mother was born eight years before Mrs Thatcher, and outlived her.
    When Lady Thatcher died my mother (in her 90s) said, *She took the school milk away from the little children when she was Minister of Education, imagine doing that.*

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    1. Sounds like your mother was a bit of a leftie! As for the Five Boys chocolate bars - I had not thought of them in many's the long year. "Thatcher! Thatcher! Milk Snatcher!"

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    2. Which one were you?

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    3. I was "Expectation" - the one in the middle.

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  7. Orange? Why orange? It does not follow as the night the day.

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  8. Doesn't work now you have to sing "nesslay's milky bar". Swiss subjugation.

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    1. Us Yorkshire folk will have nowt to do with "Nesslay". It is pronounced like the verb to nestle - to settle or lie comfortably within or against something.

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  9. *Classic Ads: Big Fry Turkish Delight With George Lazenby.*
    YouTube.

    George Lazenby named some of the men involved in the conspiracy to murder President Kennedy, when he appeared on The Simon Dee Show.
    Lazenby waited until the last moments of the talk show to name names, while the credits were going up. Dee looked nervous, as well he might have been.

    Funny, but that episode of Simon Dee was mysteriously scrubbed by the BBC.

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    Replies
    1. I never knew that about George Lazenby. Undoubtedly, many things related to the assassination of JFK remain puzzling and rather eerie too.

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    2. Lake Erie or the lake of eeriness?
      Watch The Parallax View (1974) directed by Alan J Pakula.
      There's a cameo role by Hume Cronyn, as a small town newspaper editor.
      Years ago in Gloucester I met a man who was Cronyn's double, and who came from Edinburgh.
      Alan J Pakula came to a bad end.

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  10. What a wonderful story for Princess Phoebe! We have missed out on Milky Bars over here. I don't think I've ever seen any although we do have Nestles brand candy.

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    1. I wrote it because in Phoebe World nothing matters more than milk.

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  11. I suppose I'll buy your children's book when it comes out. Please make the illustrations amusing. Could you get on it soon? My grandbabies are already 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 and they'll be wanting a copy while they're still young enough to appreciate it!

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  12. Your story reminds me of something similar. When we were living in Singapore, my daughter (aged 8) had to join a Malay class. She had a book entitled "Hujan coklat" (Raining chocolate). This might give you an idea for Book Two in your series. If so, I wish to negotiate a percentage.

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  13. A lovely story, but visions of those little bottles of milk warming up on the radiator with a straw sticking out in kindergarten still send nauseous waves...

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Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.

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