Why did the dyslexic Yorkshireman get funny looks?
Because he was walking around wearing a cat flap.
A Yorkshireman walks into a vet's office and says "Ay up, can tha tek a look at our cat? It's not bin its sen lately."
"Sure.'" says the vet. "'First things first, is it a tom?"
"Nah" he replies "I've got it 'ere wi me."
A Texan ranch owner was on holiday in Yorkshire. He visited a local pub in a sheep farming area of the county. He struck up a conversation with a sheep farmer in the pub. After a bit of chit chat, the Texan asked the Yorkshireman a question. The conversation went thus:
Texan - “So, how long does it take you to go from one end of your farm to the other?”
Yorkshireman – “About three hours to walk from one end to the other.”
Texan – “If I get in my car to drive from one end of my ranch to the other, it’ll take me a day.”
Yorkshireman - (after some pause for thought) – “Aye, I used to have a car like that.”
A man was spotted at a farmers market in a coastal town in Yorkshire, kissing a girl who was not his wife.
Turns out he was having a Scarborough affair.
Wrigleys have launched a new website where you can order chewing gum online. It's called ebuygum.com!
A farmer in Yorkshire sees a bloke drinking from his stream & shouts,"Ey up cock! Tha dun wanna be drinkin watta from theer, it's full o hoss piss an cow shite".
The bloke says "I'm from London can you speak bit slower please".
The farmer replies, "If - you -use - two - hands - you - won't - spill - any!"