My Maserati GranCabrio MC was delivered yesterday while I was working at Oxfam. You may remember that I was desperate for a banana-coloured car. Maserati UK pulled out all the stops for me.
As I walked up the street, the Italian beast was waiting for me - the keys being dangled by a smarmy fellow called Justin who introduced himself as Maserati's special projects officer - whatever that might mean. He smelt of an expensive man's fragrance - "Bozo" or "Plonker" - something like that.
He talked me though the car's controls and we took it for a spin with me at the wheel. Oh my God! The acceleration is incredible. You feel the power in your skeleton. The Maserati is like a rampant lion whereas Clint seems more like a timid guinea pig.
We roared up Ringinglow Road to The Norfolk Arms and roared back twice as quickly. Justin was clinging to his seat like a wimp but I was chuckling like Dick Dastardly as we rode the tarmac like robbers in a getaway car. Is that too many likes?
|The new car|
Justin climbed into the cab of the low loader that had brought the car up to Sheffield and was off. In the house, Shirley asked me if I liked my new car and I said it would take some getting used to.
"What about Clint?" she asked. "What are you going to do with him?"
"What do you mean?" I snapped. "If you think I am getting rid of Clint, you are sorely mistaken. He has been like a brother to me. The Maserati will never replace Clint!"
"What are you going to call the new car?"
"I don't know. I will ask my blog visitors."
And then we went out on the decking at the back of our house for our tea - a nice cheese and red onion quiche with salad and something very weird called quinoa! When you are a lottery jackpot winner I guess you have to get used to living the high life! But bloody quinoa! I ask you!