24 April 2021

Surprise!

Kill! Kill!

Ho-ho, I had you all fooled yesterday didn't I?  I realise that this will come as a disappointment to a handful of readers but I was not trampled to death by a herd of frisky Jersey cows. I am alive and well, rejoicing in the happy news  that my football team, Hull City, have just been promoted to the English Championship following today's magnificent victory at Lincoln City.

However, it could have all been so different. 

I had parked Clint on Sunderland Street, Tickhill close to "The Scarborough Arms" pub before setting off on a seven  mile country walk under another  blue sky. No need for a jacket or sweater.

When I reached Stancil Farm, I noticed that the public footpath bisected a large cattle pasture. The herd of young Jerseys was down in the bottom corner close to The River Torne but when I was half way across the field they spotted me and headed in my direction.

Of course there was no aggression but they were investigating me with their muzzles and no matter how  much "Yaah-ing" I did along with windmill waving of my arms, they would not retreat. They surrounded me as I headed, hopefully, towards the stile which led through a hawthorn hedge to safety. Perhaps they thought I was a farmhand bringing food supplements.

New Amazon distribution centre at Rossington

I was very aware that if I had tripped up and fallen to the ground they might well have accidentally trampled me in their panic.

Normally, when I walk through cow fields, the cattle will look up with lazy indifference before returning peacefully  to their endless grass munching. That was not the case yesterday. I tell you, it was such a relief to reach that wooden stile and climb over into the next field.

Wellingley

I took a deep breath and continued with my circular walk. A brand new Amazon distribution centre has been built on the site of what was once Rossington Colliery. I also walked by the tiny hamlet of Wellesley and along  the curiously named Billy Wright's Lane before heading back to Tickhill.

"The Scarborough Arms"  was open for outdoor drinkers so I treated myself to a pint of bitter shandy with a bag of plain crisps. This was the first time I have visited a pub since November 4th last year. It was an agreeable experience but then Clint started honking his horn so I knew it was time to head home.

The 15th Century Parish Room in Tickhill

40 comments:

  1. Yorky Redux. Praise be the goddess Fortuna !

    Only you and Mr Pooter could treat yourself to a shandy and a packet of crisps.
    I bet you like Smith's on account of the wee sachet of salt, what is it about that shade of blue? Sugar used to come in blue bags, read Ruth Fainlight's poem.
    Gerty Ha going on 20.

    P.S. Is Billy Wright single? Ask him if he's looking for a girlfriend.



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your joy at my survival appears to know no bounds. The crisps were "Real". That is the brand name but they were also "real" in the ordinary sense of the word. At The University of Stirling if any student union speakers used the word "reality" then Sandy Campbell would yell at the top of his gravelly Glaswegian voice - "REALITY!" It caused much mirth.

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    2. I honestly thought you were packing it in, a sudden decision.
      Employing my best gravelly voice I said, *Naw, you don't walk away from ME pal, Ah walk away from YOU !*
      Glaswegian males all think they are Frank Sinatra: The Great I Am.

      The egotistical swine has read Shuggie Bain, I thought, and he's decided to stop blogging and work exclusively on his Novel. The Sheffield Norman Mailer !

      Funny thing is, I only ever used my laptop for YouTube and the odd literary site like The Glimmer Train Archives. I don't know how to download an App.
      I was looking up Stan Barstow and came across Tasker's blog, the first blog I had ever read. I realised that blogs tell us a lot about where folk are at.

      *My Top 12 Writing Tips/ Advice That Changed How I Write.*
      Shaelin Writes. 23 April 2021. YouTube.
      Shaelin is a smart cookie and turns writing into a quest for the Grail.
      Shaelin looks all of 19 like my mythical grandbairn Gerty Ha.
      Haggerty

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    3. So Tasker Dunham was your conduit into the parallel world that is blogging. Hell, it's nigh time you launched your own blog sir. People would come. Some of them like-minded. I don't know what you would call your blog. Perhaps "A Tartan Bouillabaisse" or "I'll Tek The High Road". Go on. Give it a try!

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  2. I was udderly fooled. You milked that for all it was worth.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The thought of your demise moved me. Still I thought Clint played a role in it. Strange experience with the cows though.

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  3. An Amazon distribution center, seriously? I know they're in my back yard, but perhaps my older daughter is right when she calls them "The Evil Empire." Assertive cows, hmmm. I have that problem with geese. At least, they're smaller and less likely to trample me.

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    Replies
    1. Amazon are stealthily taking over the planet. Quite ironic really when Brazil is allowing the ruination of the real Amazon.

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    2. As Amazon takes over the planet, the real Amazon is being ruined.

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  4. Well, I totally relieved that the jerseys let you off a scary experience. I was hoping you wouldn't fall as the stuff you would fall in might be soft but has some very nasty characteristics, Smell is not the only problem

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    1. Thank you for your kind concern mate.

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  5. What a relief! Those cows look positively mad, blood thirsty in fact. Especially those big brown eyes, cow eyes.

    A few years ago I tried to take photos of some cows for a coworker. I walked up to the fence and the bloody things shot off. I didn't know cows could run so fast, a true city girl:)

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    Replies
    1. You should have worn different perfume. By the way, why would a cow-worker want photos of the animals he/she worked with every day?

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  6. Wellingley looks very picturesque, the kind of place I like to explore. You had perfect weather for your walk, but I bet those cows got the adrenalin going in your veins. I would most certainly have panicked and run off to where I‘d come from, doing the opposite of what is recommended in such a situation.

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    1. When I was halfway across, I thought I was going to be okay. I wish that the farmer would create a path diversion down by the little River Torne. It would be easy enough to do.

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  7. Is it not difficult to windmill your arms when taking photographs?

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    Replies
    1. There's a new fangled invention called a camera strap which allows your arms to move freely.

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  8. Well, YP, cheating death must have been such a relief and you survived unscathed, and able to enjoy Hull City's victory. No doubt you've raised a glass or two in celebration!
    In spite of the run-in with "the girls", you managed to capture some splendid images with your trusty camera. Well, maybe not the new Amazon distribution centre, but one has to accept that it's a blot on the landscape there to provide employment. I particularly liked the photo of the lane in Wellingley - a pleasant walk along an English country lane in Spring sunshine.

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    1. Happy to have entertained you once again Senora...Regarding tiny Wellingley:-
      We'll gather lilacs in the spring again
      And walk together down a shady lane
      Until our hearts have learned to sing again
      When you come home once more

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  9. If you had really been trampled to death by those cows you could at least have consoled yourself with the thought that they were all very beautiful.

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    1. I agree. One would not want to be trampled to death by ugly creatures.

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  10. I bet you would rather be wearing an Hull FC shirt than wearing another kind of Jersey?

    What could be more quintessentially English than a pint of bitter shandy on a Spring day. I am very envious. Sigh.🤔

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    1. Hull FC is rugby league Northsider! More quintessentially English? Staring out to sea from your car with meat paste sandwiches and a flask of tea.

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  11. Anonymous11:16 am

    I thought your previous post may have been an oblique announcement of your departure from the world of Blog. I suppose I am pleased you lived through the cattle trauma. Your expiration may not have made The Times, but certainly the local paper.

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    1. Well, a small column on page 13 perhaps.

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    2. The football result was disappointing.

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    3. We gave The Imps a helluva beating!

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  12. Ah, those young Jerseys were just curious about you. And yes, they probably thought you were there to give them treats. Such pretty beasts. Do you ever have the desire to just pet them to see if they're as soft as they look?
    What a gorgeous day you had for your walk. I'm jealous.

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    Replies
    1. Jersey cows are lovely, gentle creatures but when in herd mentality they could cause serious damage without meaning to.

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  13. Clearly someone brings those cows food, and they thought you were the guy! Love that old parish room building. The Amazon center, not so much, but they are a somewhat necessary (or at least beneficial) evil.

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    Replies
    1. As The Amazon Forest is reduced and threatened so Bezos's Amazon phenomenon grows like wildfire.

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  14. Most of ours are easily thwarted with hand movements, but still.... size and body weight alone can make them dangerous, even when they're being friendly or curious. When I lock eyes with our bull, it makes me a little nervous. He probably feels the same way.

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    Replies
    1. You cannot have discussions with cattle. Hey man, let's talk about it!

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    2. They were simply in a bad moo-ed.

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    3. You know what they say about cows….they're outstanding in their field.

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  15. I would kill for a shandy right now. Why did you put that thought in my head, you naughty boy.

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  16. Don't know about kill, but tonight I would lie, cheat or steal for a glass or three of Dom Perignon or Moet et Chandon. Even a bottle of dry Normandy cider would do.

    Blame the Shandy Man of Sheffield. His glorious walks always make me feel thirsty.
    Haggerty

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Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.

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