From time to time we all do stupid things. I guess that this is part of being human. Whereas some self-deprecating people seem to imagine that it is their stupid actions that define them, others go into denial when quizzed about stupidity. If you asked a leading politician, "What are the most stupid things you have ever done?" they would not be up front. They would squirm and cunningly try to twist the question to their advantage.
How about you? What are the most stupid things you have ever done? At least - the things you are prepared to admit. Here's a few of mine...
- I once poured coke on a plate of fish and chips - thinking that it was a bottle of malt vinegar. (My daughter has never let me forget this!)
- When I was eighteen I went on an LSD trip the weekend before my Art A level plant drawing practical exam on Monday morning. The result was most unimpressive.
- I once went to see a Scottish folk band at the McRobert Centre in Stirling, Scotland. Before the concert I was talking to a fellow at the bar. He asked me what I thought of The Boys of the Lough and I said they were a bit too staid and traditional for my liking. Later I saw him on stage. He was Aly Bain, fiddle player of The Boys of the Lough.
- Ten years ago I fell down our stairs while tying the belt of my dressing-gown. Fortunately I was not seriously injured but it was a huge shock. Since then I have been scrupulous about holding on to handrails and banisters.
- In 1990 I hired a roof ladder and climbed up on our house roof to remove the metal cap from one of our chimneys. When I think of swinging that ladder over the eaves and hooking it on to the ridge tiles I still shudder. Why the hell didn't I just pay somebody to go up there? Again, fortunately, I was not hurt.
- Last year I lost the accommodation key at our daughter's wedding and though all was okay in the end, losing that key really spoilt my wedding morning preparations - both practical and emotional. It's hard to forget.
- In Lautoka, Fiji in 1973 I got talking to a beautiful Fijian woman in a late night bar and before long two of her male friends came to join us. The three of them robbed me - taking my wallet and watch which to my amusement had got water in it from when I went swimming a couple of days before. It was no longer working and there were only about ten Fijian dollars in my wallet. Poetic justice!
Now I come to think about it, there are plenty of other stupid times I could recount though some others remain forever vetoed. Over to you...