29 April 2020

Masks

The British government have been saying that we do not need to wear masks so many people have decided to make masks. Shirley is one of them. She has been busy on her sewing machine and has already made perhaps twenty masks. They are in double ply cotton and all kind of pleated so that they will wrap around one's face and they have elastic loops to go around one's ears.

That's me in the top picture modelling my new mask. Rather stylish, huh? As an aside I think I look devilishly handsome in that photograph. I know that some visitors were curious about my appearance - well, now you know! And to Mr Tasker Dunham and Mr Robert H. Brague may I say that I am well aware that I need a haircut! Blame the ****ing pandemic for that shaggy Old English Sheepdog look.

I have many talents but using an electric sewing machine is not one of them.  Hand sewing would be equally disastrous. Consequently, I am unable to make Shirley a coronavirus mask in return for her kind gift. 

However, I had the bright idea of ordering her a mask via a little start-up company called Amazon. I flicked through what was available and selected the mask - well full head gear shown below. I believe it is called a niqab hood and it is worn by some women who follow the Muslim religion. I think that Shirley will be very happy with it. I can be such a thoughtful husband at times. Damn the expense!

50 comments:

  1. Hahaha.

    Shirley did a good job making the mask and you do need a haircut. Surely your wife could cut it. Pun intended.

    You don't have much grey hair. What the hell! My hair is almost white.

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    1. There's no way I am going to let Shirley near my hair with the kitchen scissors. She'd slice one of my ears off I am sure. Regarding my hair, I have been fortunate not to go bald or grey yet - even though I am sixty six.

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  2. I think the home made masks are a much better fit.We had one of the commercial types this morning and threw it away because it was such a poor fit.

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    1. Has The Micro Manager got a sewing machine? There are patterns and videos online for masks. Command her to tailor one for you!

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  3. It is my understanding that these masks are virtually useless against the covid19 germs as they can easily penetrate the material and give people a false sense of security so that they do not observe the correct distances when they are out in the big scare world.

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    1. The CDC has asked us to wear masks to control the wearer's spit which is expelled during speech or coughing. They are for use in conjunction with social distancing.

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    2. Or they can be a reminder to not touch your face. Which should give you the heightened sense of awareness to keep your distance. Both are pretty flimsy arguments. Bottom line is that anything is better than nothing at all.

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    3. Same here; our government (and the experts) keep reminding everyone that these masks do NOT stop the virus and protect neither the wearer nor those around them from covid-19, but they reduce the amount of "droplets" we expell when we speak and breathe (or cough and sneeze) and that is one step towards fewer infections.
      Also, like the others here have said, they are just ONE part of the measures, in combination with keeping one's distance and not touching the face they are better than nothing.

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    4. So that is telling you Helen! The idea of the mask is to protect others - not so much yourself. Previous epidemics in east Asia have seen millions of people wearing masks for the same reason. Masks massively reduce the presence of infectious micro droplets in the air. Besides, why do you think health professionals wear masks?

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  4. I think you look rather professional with the camera!! Your shirt top and mask are quite colour coordinated too. We were totally out of masks for many weeks during the initial lock down, pharmacies were selling 3 masks/pac per customer and no more. Some pharmacies even jotted our names down for record purposes. Cloth masks are more user friendly, can be recycled

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    1. Medical masks should be reserved for health professionals in my view.

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  5. Shirley's mask looks just like the ones my Mum's friend has been making, the same pleated shape, double layer of cotton, rubber bands around the ears. I shall wear mine today for the entire trip to O.K.'s and then it will need to go in the washing before I can wear it again.
    You are so good to order from the small startup company! I predict they will make it big with such supportive customers as you are.
    I need a haircut, too... and colour...

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    1. Maybe I should buy a few shares in the start up company just in case they do make it big some time in the future. As for colouring your hair, may I suggest bright pink? You can dye it yourself - no hairdresser needed!

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  6. I did attempt to make my own out of an old black T shirt. My sewing skills are not great, but I'm a dab-hand with a staple gun. Other than looking a bit amateurish (with staples all over the place) it did sort of work; but I wouldn't want to be seen in public wearing it. I'll go for a male niqab... if they have male versions.

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    1. Islam seems to allow handsome men like yourself to stroll around unmasked making the knees of passing women turn to jelly. It's only women who get to wear the niqab hood.

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  7. How do you drink a pint of bitter when you're wearing a mask? Perhaps we should all convert to Islam and wear a niqab and become teetotallers?

    Seriously you have got to handle the mask to put it on and take it off. So would we need to wear gloves all the time too?

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    1. It is easy to take the mask off without the possibility of contamination. Besides, the mask is mostly to protect other people from me! As for becoming a follower of Islam - I would rather follow Manchester United!

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    2. Perhaps someone will design a mask with a straw attachment, to allow you to sup your pint!

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    3. Good idea Coppa's girl.

      I would rather follow Bolton Wanderers, Leeds United or Liverpool.

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    4. I, too, love the mask Shirley sewed for you! I wish I could sew, but I don't know the first thing about it, nor do I have a machine. I don't think your hair is any big deal. Gregg has always buzzed his hair down very short with clippers since he began losing hair very young. Plus, it's super easy (he does it himself) and nothing to maintain.

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    5. When I said you hair is no big deal, I meant the length. It looks nice, whereas some people like my husband would look bad if they let it grow that long. :)

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    6. The first comment made me cry but the second comment made me smile. Everything is up and down these days.

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  8. Instead of a mask I wear a scarf or a runner's neck tube which can be pulled up to cover my nose and mouth when going outside.
    The social distancing measures didn't happen yesterday when I had a parcel delivery. The courier rang the doorbell, stood only a foot or so away and then handed me the parcel whilst chatting and laughing. He was not wearing gloves or mask. Stupidly, I instinctively reached out to take the parcel and only realised what had just happened afterwards. I am doomed.

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    1. Oh dear. How will Peregrine cope without you? It's been nice linking with you JayCee. On your certificate, under "cause of death", the doctor will need to write "Hermes"!

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  9. What a disservice. I would never comment on anyone else's hair except to praise it. Home made masks can be very fetching but I have a natural one grown many years ago. My answer to protecting others from the possibility of droplet born infection is simply not to speak to them.

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    1. Micro droplets can travel several metres - even passing over supermarket aisles. When you say that you grew your own mask - do you mean that your bottom lip is massively enlarged as in some African tribes of yore?

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    2. That's as good a reason as any to wear a mask, to protect other people.
      On a recent visit to Tesco, where everything is really well organised to keep people safe as far as they possibly can, a bloke in overalls barged past me, ignoring the one way system, whilst talking on his mobile and probably spraying me with potentially lethal droplets. Too busy to be either polite or considerate, obviously.

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    3. It doesn't seem to be certain that home-made masks do protect others from the smallest droplets, although the larger ones, yes. However, you will be relieved to know that Mrs D has also been busy and we have a variety from which to select in a range of attractive patterns, guaranteed sufficiently effective to prevent any active droplets passing by air from here in West Yorkshire to Sheffield.

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    4. The masks my wife makes are in double ply cotton and some have inner pouches where tissues can be inserted. They are not 100% effective but 90% effective is good enough for me. Even hospital masks are not 100% effective. If that odious Matt Hancock says we don't need masks then of course we need them.

      And Jean - you should have kneed that oaf in the balls.

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    5. A friend with NHS connections told me that we're advised not to wear masks because, as we know, they're in short supply. (Unless you make your own and not everybody can do that.)
      Apparently amongst the millions of PPE items supplied to the NHS frontline is included boxes of tissues. How typical of our politicians, to count tissues as PPE and pat themselves on the back. Gloves were counted singly, not in pairs, too. They either think we're all completely stupid, or don't care what we think. Here we are thinking that our illustrious leaders have provided our doctors, nurses and carers with millions of masks, gowns, visors and gloves when in fact it's tissues.

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    6. Are the tissues to wipe away tears?

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    7. For wiping all of the secretions that tissues are normally used for I suppose, but hardly protection against the virus!
      If our illustrious leaders had thought a bit longer they could also have counted the loo paper, maybe even every square! They missed that opportunity to try to fool us into thinking how benevolent they are!

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    8. They could have counted the disposable bags in which the gloves were sealed.

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  10. I'm surprised that someone hasn't found a stash of WW2 Gas masks and suggested we use those! Who knows, they might be more effective against the virus than any of the masks were wearing now.
    The local chemists are handing out free packs of three masks to anyone over 60, and most people do seem to be wearing them.
    When it's all over, we'll be able to wear them to rob a bank!

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    1. ...or to burgle British retirees living on the Spanish costas! As they used to say at the end of BBC's "Crimewatch" - "Don't have nightmares!"

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  11. Masks are already mandatory here in grocery stores and on public transportation. Like Shirley I've made masks--a little over three dozen so far for family/friends/DH's co-workers (he/they are essential workers who must go places that also require masks, like military installations). With more than 20,000 positive cases (with less than 1.5% of state population tested) and over a 1,000 deaths in my relatively small state, I'd say wearing mask is not the hardest thing anyone could be asked to do. A fair number of "Live Free or Die" folks here. Have to wonder if they still will be around at the end of the year. Or who else they might take out in the name of freedom.

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    1. I am afraid I cannot remember which state you are in Mary but I have seen those dumbass "Live Free or Die" protesters on "Democracy Now". They should take out the word "Free" because the dichotomy we are looking at here is simply "Live or Die".

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    2. It is actually the official motto of New Hampshire-adopted in 1945. I'm in the mid-Atlantic region where, though not in the majority, some orange idiot followers adopt that premise. If they are still listening to the mad non-scientist, they won't have to wait long.

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    3. We were in New Hampshire in 2003 I believe. We stayed in a motel close to Exeter.

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  12. I imagined your physique quite differently. For starters, I thought you were tall, slender on the verge of being thin. With little hair. Sort of egghead. Instead of which you look like Hockney. Well, not everyone can live up to expectation.

    What's with the cries of some of your readers (indeed your own) for a haircut? My son's hair is, habitually, down most his back - unless he puts it up into a bun. Think Viking. Let it grow let it grow let it grow. Relax. Your ears won't mind being covered. My own [hair]? I am blessed with a curl so springy getting my hair cut is unnecessary. I always look as if I have just been dragged through a hedge backwards. Couple that with my smile and you'll forgive me anything. I have had £150.00 haircuts in the finest of London and no one notices the difference. I count myself lucky.

    As an afterthought: Maybe we'll evolve with very long long arms (say, 2.50 m plus). That way we can still go about our business if it involves proximity without endangering each other.

    U

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    1. I have always worn my hair longer than most other men. By the way I am exactly six feet tall. Also by the way, I wouldn't want really long arms even though I admit it would help when changing light bulbs or picking apples.

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  13. I like the mask that Shirley made for you very much. And just think- if you'd had that same haircut in 1965, people would have called you a girl. And not in a nice way.

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    1. If they had called me that I would have punched their lights out.

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  14. At least you still HAVE hair. (And quite a lot of it!) I hand-sewed a shirt once when I was in the Peace Corps. It was a mess but I wore it. I haven't tried my luck with masks.

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    1. When I do finally get my hair cut, I think I will ask Shirley to make you a toupee from the clippings. Do you want a coronavirus mask attached?

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  15. Shirley made you a very nice mask. I've been making the pleated masks too. I made Tom a superhero mask!

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    1. Which superhero is he? I am guessing Captain America.

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    2. You must have seen my blog, yes, Captain America. ; )

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