5 June 2021

Nettled

Your intrepid reporter was in Nottinghamshire yesterday. After four and a half hours of plodding along public footpaths, I was having trouble getting back to the village of Bole where Clint was waiting for my return.

First of all, I found a lane barred by a spiky metal gate just south of Middle Farm, West Burton. I am not sure who placed it there - possibly the electricity company that oversees West Burton power station that looms over that district. According to Ordnance Survey mapping, there should be no gate there and public access should not be restricted.

Oh dear! I had to find another way back to Bole and my grumpy vehicle. My map told me that there was an alternative path just along Sturton Road. Fortunately that minor road is not too busy but I had to mount the verge for safety three or four times before reaching the footpath sign.

Polytunnel with strawberries at Wheatley Wood Farm

I should add at this point that the author of this blogpost's legs were bare. Given the good weather, I had for once decided to don shorts. Bad move! 

I approached the corner of a field where there was indeed a rickety old wooden stile. This path had clearly not been walked by anybody in ages. Over the stile and then horror of horrors - no clear path just a bed of nettles woven with galium aparine (sticky willy). Ahead of me I could see Bole - no more than twenty yards ahead.

There was nothing for it. Knowing that my bare legs would be nettled, I pressed ahead in a brazen act of self-harm. Soon after getting through, I could see the nettle rashes rising though at that point there was no particular discomfort. I must have been nettled fifty times or more on each leg.

The gates of Saundby Park Hall

Yesterday evening, when I reached home after an hour long drive, my legs were aglow with nettle rash. It was as if I was wearing electrified stockings and this morning as I write this account, that feeling has not entirely subsided. However, you will be relieved to learn the discomfort was not sufficient to make me cry or disturb my sleep.

Some folk take on ice-topped mountains, sail the seven seas, wrestle with lions or explore the bowels of the earth but your brave hero fought through the nettles of Bole and lived to tell the tale. It's a funny thing to be sitting here with my legs still buzzing some twelve hours after the stinging happened. Luckily, all things must pass.

Young cow at West Burton

50 comments:

  1. Oh my, how brave YP. I find just one paltry nettle sting is enough to cause me excruciating agony.
    Did you apply any soothing ointments or lotions to alleviate the stinging? Does it help if you apply vinegar to the stings?
    I hope your buzzing legs recover soon.

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    1. I am like the John Wayne of country walking so no lotions or any other treatments. Sometimes ya jus gotta tough things out honey.

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  2. Anonymous9:13 am

    My keyboard nearly received a mouth full of sprayed wine at the name sticky willie. I would be very cross and probably follow up the blocking of public access, especially as you were attacked by sticky willies on the alternative path.

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    1. Ha-ha! I am glad you spotted that you naughty transport retiree you! It's just one of the country names for this plant.

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  3. Well you survived to tell the tale. It might have done you some good being stung, nettles are an old fashioned remedy for many things.

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    1. Who knows? Walking through a bed of nettles might be a great cure for COVID.

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  4. Dock leaves really do work. You have to mash them up to get the liquid out, rub it on the nettle blisters and they disappear pretty quickly. You could try walking on hot coals next (scientific name: burnt willy).

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    1. Though it is enormous, it doesn't reach the floor.

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    2. This made me laugh.

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  5. More than once during my rambles in the beautiful Yorkshire countryside, I have come across public footpaths that were more nettles and thornes than anything else. Sometimes I walked them, sometimes I found another path. Some who practice holistic medicine recommend the use of nettles to help with all sorts of ailments, for instance kidney inflammation. A nettle rash is deliberately caused on the skin of your back where the kidneys are, apparently stimulating blood flow and making the body handle the inflammation better, or something. Maybe from now on your legs will have super strength, carrying you through your walks as if on clouds. Clint won‘t even be necessary anymore!

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    1. I read that stuff too. I wonder why nettles sting anyway when most plants do not have that effect and are quite benign to humans.

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  6. nettling is viewed as a very good treatment for arthritis far superior to the GP peddled crap they like to dose you with. On the subject of not on my land! public footpaths our local touch your forelock farmer rips up the signs and puts agressive bullocks in the fields where people walk

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    1. Most councils have designated officers who deal with public rights of way issues. For example I have found both Doncaster and Selby councils to be proactive when I have reported issues to them. Why not investigate reporting that arrogant farmer Kate?

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  7. Is there no end to the suffering you will endure to bring us, your avid readers, life in the raw? Thank you, YP, for enduring such discomfort on our behalf, along with barred gates, and that rather miserable looking young cow. Not to mention grumpy Clint - your long absence must have given him a very good excuse to complain.
    Those are very impressive gates for a rather unimpressive looking 70's style building!

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    1. There were four more huge posts - all with lions on the top. As I walked by, I thought to myself, "I bet Carol's Spanish mansion looks like this".

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    2. Good heaven's no, YP! Mine is a very much more modest affair, why, I even have to open my own front door!

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    3. Time to hire a different butler!

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  8. Well, I am glad you survived the nettles. They sound quite nasty. Around here we have ticks to worry about,even in the city they can hide on small patches of grass. I hope your electrified legs feel better soon.

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    1. We can get ticks here too and I was thinking about the little blighters as I waded through two grassy meadows. Another one of God's more unpleasant creations.

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  9. I am sorry about your nettle rash, but remember, 'big boys don't cry'.

    That grand gate was meant for walking through, YP. I'm sure that the butler would have welcomed you warmly and told you that Lord Standby was having tea in the library and would be delighted to have you join him.

    Another missed opportunity. *sigh*

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    1. Those gates were ridiculous. If his lordship had donated the money involved in their construction to famine relief, he could have saved a small African nation!

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    2. Ostentatiousness is not limited to within your borders, YP. Did you see that Jeff Bezos is set to be a trillionaire? Think of the good that he could do this world. You should have walked through those gates and up to the door. Once the butler let you in, you could have had a conversation with Lord Standby that changed our world. I'm setting off for Jeff Bezo's mansion this minute with the same aim.

      If only I knew which one he was at, it would help a great deal.

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    3. Mr Bezos lives mainly in Medina, Washington - a fairly long drive from your house Debby!

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    4. Well, you'll probably have tea with Lord Standby before I get to Medina, but road trips are fun.

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  10. Ugh. Nettles. When I was growing up in the UK and was stung by those beastly things I did just as Tasker recommended--found some dock leaves. Although I didn't mash them up, just rubbed the flat surface of the leaves all over the afflicted area. Sometimes it actually helped. :)

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    1. There is medical evidence that dock leaves do indeed have a soothing effect. As for "beastly", that is a word that Billy Bunter often used. Have you heard of him? If not please Google the chubby bounder!

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    2. Didn't need to google BB. Remember, I grew up in the UK. :)

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    3. Sorry Mary. It's just that I was not sure how old you are. I know that neither of my kids had ever heard of Billy Bunter till I told them. Perhaps I should write a blogpost about him!

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    4. Older than you...by a few. Born in 1950.

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  11. That sounds simply horrific.

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    1. Life isn't always a bed of roses. Sometimes it's a bed of nettles.

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  12. Our intrepid explorer. I wonder if the air turned blue with expletives while you walked through the nettles.

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    1. Yes it did! I muttered, "Oh gosh!" and "Dammit!"

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  13. Nettles, ugh! Slug slime is supposed to be good for their effects. (not that I would want to try it)

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    1. I would rather suffer the nettle stings than rub slug slime all over my legs! But thanks for the tip anyway Margaret!

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  14. You showed your nettle, I mean mettle YP. Oh for a polytunnel like the one in your photograph.

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    1. I hoped you would comment on that polytunnel. There were about fifty of them - all around 200 metres long. The strawberries were fed and watered hydroponically. Can you see how they are raised off the ground for easy picking?

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  15. I feel your pain having had my own run-ins with something known as Bull Nettle over here. Your mention of seeing your destination such a short distance away reminded me of an incident I had awhile back. After planting oak trees with a dibble bar (ever used one of those?) I only needed to walk about 10 feet to reach the access road. Problem was, the way was filled with brambles. I now understand how sheep can get caught. I hope the pain doesn't stay with you long.

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    1. Thirty hours since the nettling and the prickling sensation has just about gone. A "dibble bar"? Sounds rude... but now with a little Google research I can declare that I have never used one! Thanks for calling by again Kelly.

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  16. How many times have I told you, "Stay away from the nettles!" I don't think we have nettles here.

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    1. Sorry for disobeying you Uncle Keith!

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  17. Am I crazy, or have I read somewhere that nettles are edible?

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    1. No comment on your first point Jennifer! However, nettles can indeed be eaten or made into soup or wine!

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  18. That sounds unpleasant indeed. Like terry (above) we have ticks to worry about here, and Lyme disease spread by ticks is becoming common in Nova Scotia. A few days ago I had to go to our cottage to see about some repairs, and when I came home I found two ticks on me, one latched on and one crawling about. Since then I have found three ticks on my footwear that I had been wearing (they had been banished to the outside deck just in case). This is the first time I've ever had a run in with ticks, and I am not amused. Thank goodness we don't have nettles to contend with too.

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    1. Ticks are not too common here but some people's lives have been ruined by them. I hope that your encounter has no extra repercussions Jenny. I understand that is important to extract ticks properly with the appropriate tool.

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  19. My yard is full of nettles. They drive me mad. I pull them bare handed and suffer for a reason. Rumour has it that it's good for arthritis, and goodness knows my hands are full of it.

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    1. Sorry to learn about your arthritis Karen. It's a horrible condition. Do the seasons affect it?

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    2. Weather extremes both ways sure do.

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  20. Yikes. I have mistakenly brushed past nettles and that was bad enough. I can't imagine having to wade through them -- in shorts!

    When I was a kid reading A.A. Milne, I was always confused by references to nettles. I don't think we have nettles in Florida. (Turning the tables for once -- usually it's Florida that has the biting/stinging/poisonous environment, compared to mild Britain!)

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    1. In life we should embrace a wide range of experiences so next time you see a bed of English nettles, take a deep breath and walk on through! It will get your mind off other things.

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Mr Pudding welcomes all genuine comments - even those with which he disagrees. However, puerile or abusive comments from anonymous contributors will continue to be given the short shrift they deserve. Any spam comments that get through Google/Blogger defences will also be quickly deleted.

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